Up north they work in mills
and wear cloth caps and clogs.
They climb the steepest hills
and grope their way through fogs.
Down south they keep hands clean
cos dirt is just not nice.
In smart clothes they are seen
that come at quite a price.
Up north there’s cobbled streets
with houses sooty black.
All have outside toilets
in ginnels round the back.
Down south, houses are plush
with gardens all so neat.
Their toilets always flush
and don’t freeze up at night.
Up north they eat offal
like tripe, trotters and tails.
This really is awful
but not as bad as snails.
Down south they eat fine food
and often have sirloin.
For them their life is good
with no cause to complain.
Is this the truth I tell,
or are these not the facts,
that show that life is Hell
in Hull and Halifax.