Just A Little Black Number

Jem Tovey

Let’s distract from all those stories of manipulating the press
And replace them with the headline “Woman Wears A Dress!”
Don’t dare display a shoulder, it looks common and cheap,
But it’s OK to use the front bench, to catch up on your sleep.

It’s the Palace of Westminster, so don’t refer to it as Parly
Wear heels not DMs, they’re just a little too gnarly.
You did theatre studies not PPE,
Stay in your lane dear, how hard can that be?

Let’s beat the nowt-rage sword into a stout ploughshare,
Then turn that into currency, for those who really care.
Monetise the Twitterstorm, turn it into several grand;
Give more power to the elbow, of those that lend a hand.

Demonstrate the socialist principles in which we truly believe,
And let the keyboard warriors, in their mum’s back bedrooms seethe.
When the right go low, we go off the shoulder,
Perhaps next time a crop top or bikini would be bolder?

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