Corona doesn’t care if you’re atheist or Anglican,
Whether you’re a Buddhist or have visited the Vatican.
This pathogen’s not fussy, there’s no discernment in a virus,
Not bothered who you vote for or that you don’t like Miley Cyrus.
It’s just the latest in a series of respiratory disorders;
One that doesn’t have to wave, a blue passport at our borders.
Germs don’t require visas, they’re totally free to roam;
While the fear of influenza, keeps us all cooped up at home.
We prepare for the Apocalypse and not just self-isolation,
Buying enough Andrex, to last ‘til Prince Andrew’s Coronation.
The only thing I truly fear, if I’m stuck in Quarantine,
Is running low on Java, I’m a grouch without caffeine.
I’ve stopped watching News at 10, hearing Boris invoke the Blitz,
His pound-shop Churchill tribute act, gets on my thrupenny bits.
I’m sick of all the Facebook experts and their theories on causation,
Just paint a red cross on my door, because I’m out of circulation.